Thoughtful, enlightened men that we are these days, we care entirely too much what women think.
And in doing so, we literally abdicate ALL of our power.
So what do I mean by power?
I'm talking about the kind of power a man needs to CREATE ATTRACTION.
The kind of power a man needs to LEAD others to places of emotional safety, respect, and passion.
The kind of power a man requires to meet the woman of his dreams or stay married to her.
You can't do that when you're always second-guessing yourself, worried about what she'll think.
It's often said that "He who cares the LEAST, has the most power in a relationship."
I would say it like this:
"He who cannot care less about what she thinks of him has the most power over himself."
It is the lack of power over himself that is the very source of his inabilities to attract, inspire, lead, or seduce the woman in his life or those he wants in his life.
This power is NOT about caring less about HER, it's about caring less...
There is a big push today in the cultural zeitgeist for men and women to become "conscious" about their intimate relationships. Men want to be more vulnerable, women want a man who can hold space for all of her, the good the bad and the ugly. Blah. Blah. Blah.
Honestly, I think this is good and does have its place.
... It would seem in many circles, men have become too "soft," and women have become too "wild."
The balance is off.
Before you get too carried away finding your wings, being conscious and authentic and all of that, I need to remind you never to forget your roots:
You're an animal.
When it comes to your sexuality (and hers), you have to remember that you are an animal and subject to the base instincts of an animal.
You are an animal that operates according to inbuilt biology. Yes, society tempers that, but it's there.
And if you're an animal, your wife (or girlfriend, partner or whatever) must be too.
That means your kids are animals, and...
There is a very specific reason that women lose attraction for men.
Have you ever started dating your dream girl? I mean, you hit the home run this time. She's beautiful and cool. Sexy and yet down to earth. She even bought you that Mike Trout rookie card for your birthday that you really wanted.
She starts backing off. At first, it's just a little and then more and more. And then the talk. I need space. We need some time apart. I need to figure myself out.
Here's an email I recieved from a young kid named Josh whow just went through this:
My girlfriend and I are taking space from each other right now, and I would love to hear some words of advice and your opinion on our matter.
We have been together for a year and a half now, and we go to the same University. We see each other a lot, (after talking about it, I came to realize it was too much), and we were very loving, caring, and affectionate until...
As men, our obsession with sex is our weakness.
It is the single most powerful cause of ruination in our lives.
Think about it:
How many bad decisions have we made to get or keep access to a woman's vagina?
And let me give you one point of clarification:
Sex isn't just about penis in vagina, pumping back and forth - it's the polarity of masculine and feminine energy and the satisfaction and validation we get from that.
...And yes, also the intimacy and the penis in vagina sex.
Married men compromise and become cowards, afraid of meeting with their wives disapproval.
Single men endlessly swipe right, go to clubs and plot and plan to "get" a woman because somehow this prize he thinks will make him happy.
...They waste time that could be much better spent building their life mission and career because their desire is so strong.
Look, at the DNA level, we are designed to find young nubile feminine women with a great hip to waist ratio who are healthy and strong...
Many men I hear from are stuck in the "Limbo Land" of a marriage that is spiraling out of control with no resolution in sight...
...Or they may feel trapped in a job or career that is sucking their soul out of their body on a daily basis.
Or they want to speak their truth to somebody so badly it's eating them alive and keeping them in a dark, angry place.
They're stuck. It's hard for them to move and take action.
So, how do you make a hard decision?
How do you break free from the fear of outcome and the fear of someone's reaction?
The answer is to simply make your NEXT decision. Just make it.
Like Nike used to say: Just do it.
Just say it. Just state precisely what you're thinking and what you want.
The act of making a decision ALWAYS CREATES MOVEMENT IN SOME DIRECTION.
The frustration of indecision is caused by the fear that nothing will ever change. But if you decide to create movement...something will change. And if you choose to do nothing...nothing will...
In the last few articles, I've talked at length about how to increase your value as a man and become way more badass.
I've talked about increasing your intelligence and competence, the power of being positive and supportive, and the incredible importance of physical fitness and dressing well.
This is powerful and worth doing in its own right.
Becoming a better you is its own reward. It changes the way you feel about yourself, and that ultimately changes the way others feel about you.
But in the meantime...
You guys in relationships may be disappointed to hear that doing everything I've recommended to this point may not have your wife or girlfriend ripping your clothes off twice a day for a romp in the sack.
She may very well want to, but she's just not sure how to go about expressing her renewed sexual desire for you. Like everything else in marriage, as a masculine husband, you need to take the lead and assert yourself in the bedroom.
So what to do?
Take some pride in your appearance.
You don't need to drop thousands of dollars on a polished wardrobe. You just need to put a little thought into what you're wearing to make sure it comes off clean. Show you care about the way you look.
The best way to think about your style is to dress as if you were single. Dressing in a way that would attract the attention of single females will also attract the attention of your partner.
This also applies when you're just hanging out with your family. I'm sure you don't feel very special when your wife comes home from work or a night out with friends and immediately takes to a tee-shirt and sweatpants.
A wife whose husband does this doesn't feel very special either.
Look good for your wife. She notices how you dress. Dressing like a typical married schlub is only going to land you with the same barely existent sex life of one.
I go into how to do this in detail in The Alpha Shift, but let me give you a couple of...
"No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable."
Men weren't designed to be sedentary and weak.
Nothing will sap a wife's sex drive faster than having a husband with a paltry frame with most or all of his muscle mass obscured by body fat.
The good news is that few things will start to bring back her desire to passionately hump you like packing on a noticeable amount of muscle mass and adding some definition to your frame.
You need to lift weights. Start now. Continue for the rest of your life.
Lifting weights is not referring to haphazardly moving some barbells or dumbbells around. I'm talking about the only way to pack on a respectable amount of muscle mass: strength training.
The focus must be on lifting heavy (4-6 rep max weight) and being intentional about continually increasing resistance while maintaining solid...
Your woman needs you to provide stability and emotional support in her life.
She doesn't need you coming home whining to her about your day and everything that isn't going right in your life.
She needs you to comfort her with masculine confidence and a positive outlook.
Complaining has never accomplished anything positive in a man's life or within his family.
You're a man.
You need to learn what it is to act like it.
That means, take charge.
Set a positive example for your family. Exemplify for them what it means to take life's challenges head-on without allowing undesirable circumstances to dampen your spirits.
As the husband goes, so goes the family. A negative husband is like cancer to the emotional stability of a household.
This will weigh especially heavy on his wife and take a toll on her desire for sexual intimacy with him. Emotional discontentment leads to the immediate sexual atrophy for a woman.
There is an entire subreddit called "dead bedrooms." I...
No woman wants to be with a man who offers little value. A woman wants a man who has personal power and direction and brings a great deal to the table.
It's a part of who she is. It's in the DNA.
This is why I'm so dubious of modern feminism. Not cause I want to keep the ladies down. But because turning them into men makes men become soft in turn and both lose.
The best we can do is know better and do the opposite of what the cultural imperative is.
I believe this is the great challenge of our time. The happiness and survival of future generation depend upon it.
So let's start this series on increasing your intrinsic value as a man:
Increase your intelligence.
Being an effective leader and making the right decisions for you and your family requires intelligence.
The ability to clearly articulate yourself is an essential element in persuading others to accept the veracity of your decisions.
A man's intellectual acuity is directly proportional to his...
Get the latest content and news, and and special members only offers.
Be the first to find out about about new training, products and opportunities to turn you life around and kick ass!