Many men I hear from are stuck in the "Limbo Land" of a marriage that is spiraling out of control with no resolution in sight...
...Or they may feel trapped in a job or career that is sucking their soul out of their body on a daily basis.
Or they want to speak their truth to somebody so badly it's eating them alive and keeping them in a dark, angry place.
They're stuck. It's hard for them to move and take action.
So, how do you make a hard decision?
How do you break free from the fear of outcome and the fear of someone's reaction?
The answer is to simply make your NEXT decision. Just make it.
Like Nike used to say: Just do it.
Just say it. Just state precisely what you're thinking and what you want.
The act of making a decision ALWAYS CREATES MOVEMENT IN SOME DIRECTION.
The frustration of indecision is caused by the fear that nothing will ever change. But if you decide to create movement...something will change. And if you choose to do nothing...nothing will...
In the last few articles, I've talked at length about how to increase your value as a man and become way more badass.
I've talked about increasing your intelligence and competence, the power of being positive and supportive, and the incredible importance of physical fitness and dressing well.
This is powerful and worth doing in its own right.
Becoming a better you is its own reward. It changes the way you feel about yourself, and that ultimately changes the way others feel about you.
But in the meantime...
You guys in relationships may be disappointed to hear that doing everything I've recommended to this point may not have your wife or girlfriend ripping your clothes off twice a day for a romp in the sack.
She may very well want to, but she's just not sure how to go about expressing her renewed sexual desire for you. Like everything else in marriage, as a masculine husband, you need to take the lead and assert yourself in the bedroom.
So what to do?
Take some pride in your appearance.
You don't need to drop thousands of dollars on a polished wardrobe. You just need to put a little thought into what you're wearing to make sure it comes off clean. Show you care about the way you look.
The best way to think about your style is to dress as if you were single. Dressing in a way that would attract the attention of single females will also attract the attention of your partner.
This also applies when you're just hanging out with your family. I'm sure you don't feel very special when your wife comes home from work or a night out with friends and immediately takes to a tee-shirt and sweatpants.
A wife whose husband does this doesn't feel very special either.
Look good for your wife. She notices how you dress. Dressing like a typical married schlub is only going to land you with the same barely existent sex life of one.
I go into how to do this in detail in The Alpha Shift, but let me give you a couple of...
"No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable."
Men weren't designed to be sedentary and weak.
Nothing will sap a wife's sex drive faster than having a husband with a paltry frame with most or all of his muscle mass obscured by body fat.
The good news is that few things will start to bring back her desire to passionately hump you like packing on a noticeable amount of muscle mass and adding some definition to your frame.
You need to lift weights. Start now. Continue for the rest of your life.
Lifting weights is not referring to haphazardly moving some barbells or dumbbells around. I'm talking about the only way to pack on a respectable amount of muscle mass: strength training.
The focus must be on lifting heavy (4-6 rep max weight) and being intentional about continually increasing resistance while maintaining solid...
Your woman needs you to provide stability and emotional support in her life.
She doesn't need you coming home whining to her about your day and everything that isn't going right in your life.
She needs you to comfort her with masculine confidence and a positive outlook.
Complaining has never accomplished anything positive in a man's life or within his family.
You're a man.
You need to learn what it is to act like it.
That means, take charge.
Set a positive example for your family. Exemplify for them what it means to take life's challenges head-on without allowing undesirable circumstances to dampen your spirits.
As the husband goes, so goes the family. A negative husband is like cancer to the emotional stability of a household.
This will weigh especially heavy on his wife and take a toll on her desire for sexual intimacy with him. Emotional discontentment leads to the immediate sexual atrophy for a woman.
There is an entire subreddit called "dead bedrooms." I...
No woman wants to be with a man who offers little value. A woman wants a man who has personal power and direction and brings a great deal to the table.
It's a part of who she is. It's in the DNA.
This is why I'm so dubious of modern feminism. Not cause I want to keep the ladies down. But because turning them into men makes men become soft in turn and both lose.
The best we can do is know better and do the opposite of what the cultural imperative is.
I believe this is the great challenge of our time. The happiness and survival of future generation depend upon it.
So let's start this series on increasing your intrinsic value as a man:
Increase your intelligence.
Being an effective leader and making the right decisions for you and your family requires intelligence.
The ability to clearly articulate yourself is an essential element in persuading others to accept the veracity of your decisions.
A man's intellectual acuity is directly proportional to his...
A woman's sexual desire cannot be negotiated.
In the last article, I outlined the pathetic reality of the modern feminized husband. Weak, soft, rocking a skinny fat "dad bod." Not making a decision, letting his wife run things and run all over him.
This "modern husband" (i.e., Complete douchebag) finds himself in a situation where his wife's sexual desire for him disappears.
Often neither one of them understands why.
The husband, desperate to do whatever is necessary to reinvigorate his wife's sexual passion for him, will resort to attempting to gain it back through negotiation.
This is the male natural response to problems. We rely heavily on our logical nature when faced with difficulty.
In his book, The Rational Male, Rollo Tomassi describes the man's logical thought processes of attempting to negotiate his wife's sexual desires for him like this (paraphrased):
I desire sex with my wife -> only my wife...
She won't want you if no one else does.
A man needs to be masculine. To some, this may seem obvious...
...But with the plethora of feminized men today, we simply cannot take this for granted.
And no one benefits more from a man embracing his masculinity than his wife.
A wife benefits from her husband's abilities to lead, project physical strength, apply sound logic, and reproduce via sexual intimacy.
The husband receives benefits, too. In fact, a man's ability to engage in frequent sex with his wife is linked to how closely he's aligned himself with his God-given masculine nature.
In today's feminized culture, what it means to be a man must be nurtured and protected from outside influence. Sadly, most men don't guard their masculinity. Most don't even see the value in doing so. It's sad.
And then there are all the so-called empowered wives out there further advancing the cause by clamoring on and on...
Being nice won't make up for a lack of leadership.
The Mendoza Line is an expression in baseball deriving from the name of shortstop Mario Mendoza, whose poor batting average is taken to define the threshold of incompetent hitting.
The cutoff point is most often said to be .200 (although Mendoza's career average was .215) and, when a position player's batting average falls below that level, the player is said to be "below the Mendoza Line."
This is often thought of as the offensive threshold below which a player's presence on a Major League Baseball team cannot be justified, regardless of his defensive abilities.
The term is used in other contexts when one is so incompetent in one key skill that other skills cannot compensate for that deficiency.
...It's like the cutoff where you suck so bad at something that your skills in other areas simply do not matter.
This is a newsletter about men becoming better more whole and happy so...
How do you like the idea of never having to chase a woman again? Never again having to be worried or neurotic about whether she's responding to what you're saying or doing?
Sounds good, doesn't it?
The most common question that comes up when I tell guys they are not going to chase women is something like this:
"How am I supposed to get a woman if I don't CHASE them?! It's not going to just magically happen, DK. I'm not going to sit in the damn lotus position, meditate, chant and have her drop out of the sky on my lap!"
Yes, that's true.
I'll never ask you to stop your healthy pursuit of great relationships and healthy sheet ripping sweat-inducing sex with women.
What I'm asking is for you to stop the needy pursuit of their acceptance and approval.
That's what screwing up your feeling state and making life hell. Nothing else.
I am in 100% support of healthy, happy and confident men pursuing their desire for healthy,...
Get the latest content and news, and and special members only offers.
Be the first to find out about about new training, products and opportunities to turn you life around and kick ass!