A woman isn't a band-aid.
A good relationship with a high caliber woman is a bonus, an add-on to an already awesome life.
That's the only way relationships and marriages can really succeed over time.
We forget that as time goes on and make our wives the center of our existence. When that happens, we lose the essence of what made us attractive in the beginning.
...And we wonder why attraction fades over time.
I see it all the time in both perpetually single guys and guys who are recently divorced or out of a long term relationship....
They make it their chief aim in life to get a woman because they think SHE (whoever the hell she ends up being) will make them happy. Will cure the loneliness. Will make it all better just like mommy did when they were a kid.
The woman is essentially a band-aid for a broken existence.
That's frighteningly co-dependent and frighteningly COMMON.
If you've got out-points and problems in your personality and in your life, the presence of a woman...
Hey it's DK,
I've heard this or some version of it from more men than I can count:
"Every time I try to express my emotions to my wife she shuts down. And I know it'll be about 2 weeks before we'll have sex again! What the hell is up with that?!"
Why can't she accept me and my emotions like I'm supposed to accept hers? Why can't she have a little compassion and show support for ME sometimes?"
Now before I go on, take a deep breath. Every time I explain how a man's vulnerability can mess up his sex life someone ends up getting pissed off and calling me a misogynist or God knows what.
Hear me out:
When you cry, whine and bitch about your feelings, At a subconscious level, women can't help but perceive it as "weakness." It disgusts them.
And it's not just me saying it:
Dr. Brene Brown's work has revealed, many women get really uncomfortable when their man is showing excessive emotion or vulnerability.
They can experience it as an...
How do you like the idea of never having to chase a woman again? Never again having to be worried or neurotic about whether she's responding to what you're saying or doing?
Sounds good, doesn't it?
The most common question that comes up when I tell guys they are not going to chase women is something like this:
"How am I supposed to get a woman if I don't CHASE them?! It's not going to just magically happen, DK. I'm not going to sit in the damn lotus position, meditate, chant and have her drop out of the sky on my lap!"
Yes, that's true.
I'll never ask you to stop your healthy pursuit of great relationships and healthy sheet ripping sweat-inducing sex with women.
What I'm asking is for you to stop the needy pursuit of their acceptance and approval.
That's what screwing up your feeling state and making life hell. Nothing else.
I am in 100% support of healthy, happy and confident men pursuing their desire for healthy, happy,...
While on a recent business trip to LA, I met a pretty remarkable guy by the name of Andre Paradis.
He's the founder of Project Equinox and the host of the "How The Culture Gets it Wrong" podcast.
Andre is a relationship coach who knows that gender intelligence is the most important tool men and women can gain for a happy and healthy relationship.
From Andre's description of the podcast:
How the Culture gets it Wrong
Dating, Sex, and Relationship Insights with relationship coach host, Andre Paradis. What the culture says works in love relationships often flies in the face of what I know to be true. Come listen as I dismantle this madness and help Men and Women learn about the importance of complementary energy dynamics in love relationships.
...And he does dismantle the madness. Andre gets the power and necessity of being an Alpha Male. What we mean by that is an independent self-directed leader who has a strong mission in life and does not...
Good morning badasses,
As often as I can, I want to hit you guys with nuggets of wisdom in these articles.
I want to plant seeds in your heads to get you thinking the right way about your relationships with the women in your lives.
More important than that, I want to get you thinking the right way about yourselves.
I want you to that you have all the power. The trick is that you have to realize that and then take control. This is the hard part. This is the part that takes half our life to get, if at all.
I'll help you with that, one idea at a time.
Here's your thought for today:
Don't ever play by her rules.
If you allow a woman to make the rules, she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire.
The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and to submit to, a more powerful man. They will never tell you this. They don't know it, at least not consciously.
That's why I need to tell you this shit.
When you are...
I'm always asking guys what their number one pain is, either in dating success or in their current ongoing relationship.
I guess it's only fair that I share with you MY greatest pain.
The long game.
You see, I'm in a long-term relationship - going on 5 and a half years.
It's kind of my unofficial second marriage.
I established this relationship by being dominant, acting like a man, making decisions, opening doors, taking control in the bedroom and hanging back, making absolutely certain her want for me was greater than my want for her.
That, by the way, is the proper balance in any relationship between a man and a woman.
The challenge is that, after that much time together and living together for 2 and a half years, she's sees me. All of me. The good. The bad. The ugly.
They say familiarity breeds contempt.
It takes constant vigilance to keep the sexual tension alive - to remember its importance.
It takes constant vigilance to be present and LISTEN. And to...
There's a DEADLY TRAP that rapidly lowers a woman's attraction for you...
Have you ever gotten needy with a girl?
This is a hypothetical question.
I have yet to meet a guy, I don't care how badass he is, who at one time or another, hasn't lost his power and gotten needy with some girl.
I know I did.
Well, today, my smart friend, I'd like to share with you an insight into the female psyche that may just eradicate any last neediness you still have around really attractive women, by teaching you the truth about this "trap."
With no neediness coming from you, just presence, power, and indifference (indifference to her approval, not indifference to her), she almost has no choice but to FEEL ATTRACTION for you as you interact with her and others.
Your challenge will never be about overcoming anything with her.
It's all about YOU. Your challenge is to master your own emotional state. And it's HARD.
Tell me if this sounds familiar:
Things are going great....
Dudes are seriously backward today.
Women and society have told us they want us to be sensitive, evolved and emotional.
And, God bless em, they're not lying. They really do believe they want that.
Especially when they have fallen for narcissistic bad boys and been shit on.
But they really have no idea what drives them emotionally or biologically.
Which is why they fall for narcissistic bad boys and get shit on!
Women want powerful, effective men.
Supplicating nice guys project weakness and approval seeking.
The bad boy can at least imitate strength and power.
The key to having strength and power is being dedicated to your own mission.
This is attractive. And it's how you want to be anyway.
I've written before about the old pickup artist Roissy and his 16 Commandments of Poon.
What I didn't realize was that many of them came from what was clearly Roissy's study of David Deida, author of "Way Of The Superior Man."
(If you haven't read that book, read it.)
Hey it's David,
First an apology for falling off the map for a while - it seems I have a hard time walking and chewing bubble gum at the same time.
I've been busy with contract work and have been really shitty with time management lately.
First things first, the name change:
We are no longer the Red Pill Club, we are now The Alpha Shift.
The new name really embodies what we are trying to do here, which is to make every man a more powerful and dominant version of himself. A leader. A man who embraces alpha male qualities.
While we do embrace reality and "the red pill" I do not want to have the name associated with it, particularly certain subreddits that are particularly nasty and vitriolic.
The course is in full swing. It'll give you a thorough background on what we mean by alpha and beta male traits (and why you need both). I'll talk about being a real man, what is attractive, how a woman's animal brain works and what you've been doing to turn her off.
First, this video is an update, we've got alot of things going on. The course is coming.
Secondly - I've got a personal update.
The truth is - no-one is immune from the dificulties that go on in a long term relationship with a woman.
They are really all very similar. The rules all apply.
Watch the video to find out what I'm resolving in my life and why.
Even I have to remain ever vigilant.
Let me know what you think in the comments below...
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