"Shut the f*ck up" is probably the best single bit of advice you will ever receive.
Hey, it's David.
Guys are usually raring to do something...anything... when their wife starts acting a little squirrelly and wanting some space and independence.
And when it comes to a certain question, I always get resistance until the guy actually implements the advice.
What's the question?
How in the world can I get her back if I don't talk to her?!?!
The problem is always the same.
He wants MUCH more than just to "talk to her."
He wants to know every single thought she has. He wants an explanation for every little reaction. He wants clear and specific instructions on exactly what he needs to do NOW in order to get things back in order.
Not tomorrow. Right now, dammit.
My immediate advice is to breathe - very deeply - about 10 times.
The next 5 steps are:
1. Release the drag and let some line out. (immediately stop the fight)
2. Listen more than you talk...even if she isn't talking.
3. Stop seeing her as a horrible, disloyal person who wants to hurt you. See deeper into her fear and anger - it's not all about you.
4. Find a high-quality friend/mentor you can confide in now and spend some time with.
5. Stay present, available, responsive, and engaged. Don't run off angry or make any rash decisions. (However, If she's in a vitriolic rage, exit the situation and don't re-engage until she starts acting like an adult.)
It's SO tempting to want to FIX this now. That's our male nature.
You want information. You want feedback.
You want to fix the KNOT in your stomach, trying to tell you that you just might die.
Here's the truth. You're not going to die.
In fact, if you can just settle down long enough to get your head on straight, you'll realize that you're going to be just fine.
And if you play your cards right, you'll thrive.
Self-control is the number one skill that can turn a man's life around. All of the damage we endure is usually related to us panicking and acting like idiots.
A woman wants strengths and protection. Sometimes what you need to protect her from is YOU - the angry little boy inside and all of his base impulses.
I hope you join me in this adventure, creating the life you deserve.
Make you never be the same,
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