How do you like the idea of never having to chase a woman again? Never again having to be worried or neurotic about whether she's responding to what you're saying or doing?
Sounds good, doesn't it?
The most common question that comes up when I tell guys they are not going to chase women is something like this:
"How am I supposed to get a woman if I don't CHASE them?! It's not going to just magically happen, DK. I'm not going to sit in the damn lotus position, meditate, chant and have her drop out of the sky on my lap!"
Yes, that's true.
I'll never ask you to stop your healthy pursuit of great relationships and healthy sheet ripping sweat-inducing sex with women.
What I'm asking is for you to stop the needy pursuit of their acceptance and approval.
That's what screwing up your feeling state and making life hell. Nothing else.
I am in 100% support of healthy, happy and confident men pursuing their desire for healthy, happy, loving, connected, respectful, affectionate and passionate relationships with women.
I always have been. Always will.
The problem is that most men are not doing that. They are doing the opposite.
The opposite of healthy, happy and confident is insecure, miserable and needy.
The opposite of pursuing healthy relationships with women is the pursuit of someone to anesthetize your childhood wounds and shore up your insecure sense of self.
She ain't gonna make your loneliness all better. In fact, if you're in a place of lack, bringing a woman in will make that worse.
If you are pursuing romance and sex from a place of getting something that you need and don't have, just stop now.
Self-reliance and outcome independence are both absolutely critical in your pursuit of healthy relationships.
Pursuing relationships from an insecure mindset is like poison.
One of the most critical breakthroughs a man can make is realizing this one truth.
He cannot honestly and generously give his love to someone else until he learns to honestly and generously love himself and put himself and his mission first.
This sort of "selfishness" isn't really selfish.
Self-reliance and outcome independence is not arrogant, controlling, selfish or isolating.
It's the foundation of self-respect and healthy, positive masculinity. It's the core of healthy, passionate relationships.
And it is something women in the world today are hungry for. But they can't do it for you, and they can't tell you how to do it.
For that, you'll need some help and some resources.
There are a couple of books I like to recommend to all men in the modern world. The first is "Being The Strong Man A Woman Wants" by Elliott Katz. It's an excellent and short book on how to take charge and lead in the context of your marriage.
You can blow through it in about an hour, and it will change you permanently. It's a powerful little book.
And it's just as useful if you're single. In fact, if you internalize these lessons before you get married, it could save you years of pain and agony.
Another is "The Way of The Superior Man", by David Deida. It challenges you to find your true purpose and to be AUTHENTICALLY masculine. It will help guide you on your journey to a more complete way of life.
And finally, I would advise you to take a look at my signature course, The Alpha Shift.
I made it for men like you and like me who desperately crave the understanding and context to change their thinking and change their relationships with women and with themselves.
When you work through this course, you will work hand and hand with me through several exercises to identify what's holding you back, find your true purpose and create the man you were always meant to be.
PS - Pursuing relationships with women from a place of insecurity and neediness will always turn out badly.
Coming from a place of being perfect as you are will yield results that you can scarcely believe.
But you have to make the journey. And it begins with a single step.
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