Thoughtful, enlightened men that we are these days, we care entirely too much what women think.
And in doing so, we literally abdicate ALL of our power.
So what do I mean by power?
I'm talking about the kind of power a man needs to CREATE ATTRACTION.
The kind of power a man needs to LEAD others to places of emotional safety, respect, and passion.
The kind of power a man requires to meet the woman of his dreams or stay married to her.
You can't do that when you're always second-guessing yourself, worried about what she'll think.
It's often said that "He who cares the LEAST, has the most power in a relationship."
I would say it like this:
"He who cannot care less about what she thinks of him has the most power over himself."
It is the lack of power over himself that is the very source of his inabilities to attract, inspire, lead, or seduce the woman in his life or those he wants in his life.
This power is NOT about caring less about HER, it's about caring less about her opinion of YOU.
There is a HUGE difference between not giving a shit about her and not giving a shit about what she thinks about you.
The former I don't advise.
The latter, I believe, is absolutely essential. It frees you up to be focused on what matters and pursue your mission in life. You can create your own direction, and she can come along or not.
Now, let's assume for a minute that YOU have some pretty big hopes and dreams. Let's assume YOU also have some pain. And let's assume YOU also have some pretty intense passion for your goals, your values, your hobbies, your family, your wife, your sex life...whatever.
Each day you try to live your life reaching for your dreams. You think about them. You read about them. You talk about them. You learn about them. You dream about them.
You share your ideas and your enthusiasm with those you care about and those who care about you. You take action toward achieving your goals. You stumble. You move on. You are living the life YOU want to live in accordance with the desires that most drive YOU.
You acknowledge your pain. You openly discuss your feelings and regrets. You share your emotions without shame because you know they are shaping you, redirecting you, and helping others to really understand you.
You are passionate about forward momentum. You love deeply and want to be loved deeply. Your desire to share intimacy of all types is raw, unapologetic, and non-negotiable.
You want to understand the needs of those you love. You give freely of your love and your acceptance of their dreams and passions. You support and affirm them in your words and actions the best way you know how. You believe in them and their value. You expect a long life of mutual support, respect, and sharing of passions.
Everything you say and do makes this expectation exceedingly clear.
You don't give a shit about what ANYBODY thinks of you and your dreams.
Including your wife (or girlfriend, or whatever).
Why would you?
But most men DO.
They are deeply affected by how their wife treats them and their dreams. They are easily redirected by sarcasm, cynicism, doubt, and negativity.
They second guess their dreams and their values when others behave in ways that don't support them.
They allow the threat of disappointment and disapproval to derail them.
The fear of not being loved anymore grips them. The idea of less sex paralyzes them.
They sacrifice their momentum and their energy in the name of compromise.
Compromising their very VALUES. Compromising their very DREAMS. Compromising their PASSIONS.
This is NOT the kind of relationship "compromise" meant by all those books and articles you've read over the years.
THIS kind of compromise is how a man loses his power - power over himself.
I know. I've done it more than once.
This kind of compromise appears WEAK and unattractive to the woman in his life and to those he wants in his life.
This kind of compromise can destroy a man's power to be who he wants to be and will kill her respect for and attraction to him.
Don't let this happen to you. But if it has, it's time to start turning things around. Find your passion, find your fire, and become the man you always knew you could be.
PS - Don't compromise. Don't lose your power.
Choose to love. Choose to attract. Choose to inspire. Choose to lead.
Are you the man you were meant to be? Do you know who that is yet?
Tomorrow is too late.
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