I have a powerful guest article for you guys. It's called "Femininity is a Woman's Superpower." It's written by a good friend of mine, relationship coach Andre Paradis.
Some of you may remember I was a guest on his podcast a few months ago.
Andre demystifies communication between men and women, and he's particularly good at helping over masculinized women find their femininity again.
In the article, he also draws quotes from another good friend of mine, dating coach and mentor for men, Adam Gilad. There is a lot of gold in this.
Andre and his wife Nancy espouse the dance between the masculine and the feminine better than any two people I personally know. I would encourage you to check them out - link below.
When you read this article, you'll understand why so many women turn you right the hell off.
You'll also understand what that "thing" is in women that you yearn for and don't seem to find.
Read this a few times. Share it with women that you love.
Femininity is a Woman's superpower...
Yes! Let me scream it out loud Ladies...
" BEING FEMININE IS YOUR STRENGTH!!"
Your femininity is the most wonderful and powerful asset you have...especially with Men.
I will guess that not one woman really knows what femininity does to Men. How could you? You would have to be in a Man's body to get it. So let me try to describe this the best I can for you.
Being a man is often very isolating and lonely. Because we are compelled to provide, protect, and produce at all times, Men are often "head bound" and live up in their heads planning, plotting, building, problem-solving, etc. This has Men disconnected from their hearts and feelings most of the time. Men complain that they often feel numb to life. To get out of "numb" men will watch tv, play video games, drink, seek out porn just to feel something and to get out of their heads.
Ladies, this is where you and your magic comes in.
I will quote my friend Adam Gilad here:
"As a woman, your mere feminine presence will usher him into the entirely other experience of being human. Connected and joyous, grounded and feeling, caring and compassionate and in appreciation for his weary "me against the world" male brain that he happened to inherit when he was born, You present him a feminine presence that is mysterious and fascinating and unfathomable... something exotic and inspiring that invites his manhood into ever-higher levels of competence and solidity and service that has nothing to do with all the ways he distracts himself with little tasks and minor achievement during the day. You pull him into the forgiving flow and beauty of life itself and make it safe for him to relax into his heart.
Most women don't really understand how the smallest whiff of feminine brightness or positivity or shine will utterly change a man's mood. A simple smile, a touch on the arm, a flip of your hair, I know it may sound silly, but it's really not. It's you, as the feminine bringing light and beauty into our abstract heads.
Just your presence will have men fall out of their heads and be instantly become present and in the moment. Aware and connected to you in an instant. Men will often babble, trip all over themselves or be awkward for your femininity overwhelms them."
Does this sound like power to you? Hell yeah!!!
Well, ask any man.
Now, problems occur when women deny themselves this power and show up in life without their femininity, which has the exact opposite effect on men.
What do I mean? One aspect of the masculine paradigm is to resist "the push." What do you get when you push a man? You get an instant push back. You get resistance, tension, an argument, and/or...he walks away. Pushing always fails for women on a masculine man.
It will leave you feeling disconnected and frustrated if not furious, both you and him. This is a man-on-man approach, and it works for men with men, but not with you. Men will calibrate each other and "adjust" the power dynamic with each other in every given circumstance.
This does not work with women...it just doesn't!
His resisting and pushing back will make you feel overpowered, dismissed, rejected, or hurt. For him, it's a knee jerk reaction. He'll push back or walk away, wanting distance from you and the tension you created with and in him. The exact opposite of what you want. That's what happens in the absence of femininity? Go man on man...you will lose.
So, how do you get what you want with men then?
Well, how about your best asset - Your femininity... because it's the only thing that really WORKS !!!
The feminine approach is to invite action or change...not call out or demand (Push)
The Art of feminine power is:
"Inviting a man into action or change with your heart, spirit and feminine energy, Using your magnetic femininity to pull him present to your needs and wants...not with the directive and edge of your words." (Adam Gilad)
Tell him to do or change and he'll resist. Invite him to do or change and reward him when he does, and you will see wonderful things happen.
Men play for points...he won't be compelled to do much unless he understands what his actions will provide FOR YOU. Those are the points he is looking to score.
Men won't change if they can't see the value. If they cannot see the reward, action may seem like a waste of energy.
For most men, if there is no "win," there is no point. If there is no point, there will be no action. But a man who loves you, he will easily adjust and change, if you approach him respectfully, to make you happy.
He is wired that way...and it works wonderfully and... it's good for you!
You will feel connected and cherished by him instead of thinking he's a jerk.
Femininity softens men and makes men want to do for you... try it!
Again, invite and reward him, don't push, demand, or challenge. You'll end up fighting and...losing.
Use your femininity to trigger his instinct to protect and provide, and you win!
Better yet...you both win!
You can check out Andre's coaching website, Project Equinox, here:
Here are Andre's latest podcast episode:
And here's the one he did with me:
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